19 March 2024, Tuesday, 14:26
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Faites Votre Jeu

36
Faites Votre Jeu
Iryna Khalip

It seems to me that I know who joins a national team of a swamp football.

Sometimes it's enough to read headlines not news to understand what a the terrible abyss lies between us and European neighbours, a few hours away from us, and how many things in common we still share with our former companion-members of the USSR who are thousands miles away.

A day of the Belarusian media:

"Belarusian Steel Works, MAZ and Tractor Plant Are the Most Loss-making in Belarus." "8 Thousand Employees Dismissed from Industrial Giants." "Belarus Is the Leader in Unemployment Growth in the CIS." "Minsk Lacks of Medical Practitioners." "77 People for the Place of Porter, Medical Practitioners Are Employed at Once." "100 tons of Fruits and Vegetables for Russia Imported as Wallpaper Paste." "Budget to Be Revised: One Needs to Live Within Means." "Drunken Students Riding a Food Cart in Minsk Found." "Employee of Shchuchyn Agricultural Farm Illegally Sold a Ton of Pork." "A Belarusian Takes to Russia Half Ton of Horns." "Employee of Minsk Airport Stole Watch from a Passenger." Well, my favorite one is "Belarus Is Going to Develop a Swamp Football."

At the same time, we can see news of our neighbours:

"Dalia Grybauskaitė, Charlize Theron and Stevie Wonder Call for Poverty Eradication in the World." "1500 Lithuanians Signed Against the Belarusian NPP." "Poland to Double Humanitarian Aid Funding." "The Polish zloty is the cheapest currency in the world." "Polish Unemployment Rate Is All-time Low."

And here is news of the same day from neighbours in the east:

"Sevastopol Meets Medvedev With Painted Land." "The Russian Suffer the Greatest Drop of Incomes." "Navalny Accuses the Prosecutor General of Russia and His Son of Organization of Attack on Employees of the Fighting Corruption Fund." "Businessman Fighting for Rights of Deceived Interest-holders Shot in Kazan." "Berdimuhamedow and His Book About Local Carpets in Their Full Splendor." "Tajikistan's Referendum Adopts Long-Life Power of Rahmon. "Resident of Ingushetia Taught a Turkey to Give a Hug."

There are situations which need no comment, any remark becomes excessive and ruins the most elegant construction of absurd. News of a day is the best picture of increasing gap between Europe and Eurasia and Belarus is following the way of the second part.

Fighting poverty, increase of humanitarian aid funding, record low unemployment in Poland which was glad of our shuttles with any goods in early 90s is in the West. Officially adopted long-life power of Rahmon, the brown soil painted in green for Medvedev, the fourth book of the second Turkmenbashi are in the East. If we fall into abyss or hold on to our eastern neighbours, there is nothing left, but to promote a swamp football, nothing more is left for us.

It seems to me that I know who joins the national team on swamp football. 76 porters because only one is lucky to get a job. Drunken students with a cart because there is no other way, they will be surely expelled from the university after it. Shchuchyn employee with $250. A man of enterprise with 500 kg of horns. And, of course, the employee of the Minsk airport who stole watches will become the captain of the team. Why is he? Many years ago the career of Aliaksandr Lukashenka started with an incident in the plane when a stewardess accused him of theft. So, the captain is out of question.

And in the final of the world swamp football championship our team will face the Russian national team (is there anyone who have doubts about our final?). The captain there is an Ingush who gives a hug to a turkey. Speaking frankly, I do not know who I will place a bet on.

Iryna Khalip, especially for charter97.org

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