28 July 2021, Wednesday, 13:44
Sim Sim, Charter 97!

Be Careful, Lads, the Vertical Is Reeling!

Be Careful, Lads, the Vertical Is Reeling!
Uladzimir Khalip

Before you have time to look back, they are already dragging belts from under the leadership seats to the machine guns.

Every day, it is more and more joyful to live. The golden childhood is back. And not only to the old mustachioed man, completely intimidated by countless enemies. As soon as summer broke out, the coming "Zarnica" flashed across the entire horizon over this exhausted country. The Soviet one. With extras, shooters, and catch-up games. The dream of all belated and innumerable retirees, with and without the right to wear a uniform. And where else can they show their former prowess and unspent courage, if not in such ferociously twisted games of war with the kids? Times are tough. The morals are ferocious. And the younger generation is not ready for total recruitment. You need to understand it!

However, the hopelessly wise government of the times of the deepest bunker and reckless hatred of the enemies of the unique system perfectly understands everything and reacts to the challenges of our harsh time with amazing agility. And now the Minister of Education, at a visiting and even an expanded meeting of the upper house, announces stunning news: a new position is being introduced in the country's schools - the head of military-patriotic education. These are 2000 new jobs of the corresponding profile. The costs are considerable. But for such a case, nothing is too good.

This is how the link of times, interrupted by unreasonable reformers and other demagogues, closed. Who does not remember the military leader of the former Soviet school? In romantic films of those distant years, as a rule, this is a former front-line soldier, silent and attentive, a friend and protector of not too intelligent children. But in reality, as a rule, an ordinary sovok schmuck. In any case, I was extremely lucky in those days - an evil and vindictive man, a snitch and a spy, quite possibly from the veterans of the Vohra, came to our class. He brought a triangular bayonet to his lessons and tongue-tiedly tried to admire its indestructible power.

It is easy to imagine how useful all this science was to me when, a year after graduation from the university, a summons from the military registration and enlistment office was brought to the editorial office of Chyrvonka, and I was immediately placed in the well-known school of sergeants in Pechy. Patriotic education started from scratch. An attempt to explain that I am an artilleryman, trained at the military department of the Belarusian State University, passed the state examinations of the corresponding profile, and simply thrown into the infantry for some misunderstanding, caused a friendly neighing of the regimental officers. They pointed out to a bespectacled soldier: a graduate of the Leningrad shipbuilding, defended a diploma in submarines, serves in the same infantry, and keeps quiet.

In our platoon, deployed for some reason in wartime states, everyone was like that. Master of Sports, acrobat, famous coach - a graduate of our Institute of Physical Education. He is a translator, graduated from Linguistic University, who has just returned from the Republic of Mali, where he worked with a party of Soviet geologists. And even the chairman of a successful collective farm, who recklessly allowed himself a conflict with the secretary of the district committee. He was sent to be a soldier - to study the drill step in three counts by divisions. And in addition, a dozen more graduates of the Horki Agricultural Academy and two dozen doctors from the Hrodna Medical Institute. The mighty state did not give a damn about what kind of professionals they were returning to hospitals and clinics after two years of diligent practice with a sapper shovel and a gas mask. However, there was one answer to all the questions: it should be so. But who needs it? ..

So why was it necessary to suddenly introduce this disgusting military science in schools? How many precious hours of study would be wasted on an odious undertaking? Want to educate patriots? Do any of them know at least approximately what it is? The mighty Soviet Union has shamefully failed in the same area. So its later heirs do not even suspect that patriotism did not intersect with the now fashionable sycophancy and servility. Nowhere and never. This is a special category, not for everyone.

And the previously popular bayonet has long and hopelessly rusted and handed over for melting. The bayonet dangles embarrassedly from the guard's belt by the bedside table. And any pre-conscription training in the army does not arouse any sympathy in anyone in the army. Everything starts from scratch there. But here they start again this odious fuss with military studies in schools. So what's the deal here?

It, of course, is. But it is not so simple and in a completely different format. A retired border guard with a coat of arms on his tie hastily called a strategic meeting in Shklou. With officials and generals. The agenda is still the same: enemies are everywhere. Therefore, it is necessary to prepare fast to repel an attack on all fronts. A besieged fortress has no options. What doubts can there be?

The whole spectacle resembled a carefully rehearsed scene from some old Soviet film saga. Wordless extras. And the main speech is in a full-length format. Events, it turns out, are brewing terrible, but with a collective farm exotic. "In the event of a conflict, every household, every household, the head of the family, at least, should be able to protect their family, themselves, and of course, all together, the land on which they live. This will be a nationwide defense."

Officials and generals listen indifferently. As if attentively and kind of indifferent. They understand that the pronouns are slightly changed. According to the rules of almost wartime, they were lightly disguised. This political instructor calls for the whole world to protect not the land "on which people live," but the bunker in which he intends to hide. And all this confusion with a desperate call to create an immediate territorial defense is subordinated to the same goal: to stay afloat even after a complete and scandalous failure. Naturally, they have their own concern in such a game - to survive and keep their position in any outcome.

And the man with the coat of arms tie is already drawing a fantastic panorama, in which they, the officials, clearly see their bleak fate: "The General Staff, the leadership of the army and the country will help you, and we will send the military for communication and assistance in managing the territorial troops. But it will be one or two people in total, maybe even a controller. We ourselves - the chairmen of district executive committees and regional executive committees - need to learn how to fight on the ground."

And okay, and it's good enough. And why be shy, and even here, in Shklov, where he once began his sudden rise. If this is how, gradually, out of nothing, a new formation is created in essence – a vertical army, according to the plan, recklessly devoted to the body. What "territorial defense" is there! In fact, they are nomenclature troops.

And if two thousand school specialists of military-patriotic education with their restless pets ready to go through the fields of all future "Zarnitca" are connected to this sudden movement, then it is quite possible to count on the early creation of a mobile reserve. And there, you see, the pupils of kindergartens of the barracks type will catch up with this crowd.

Time goes fast. Before you have time to look back, they are already dragging belts from under the leadership seats to the machine guns. Let them try, young Gavroche. As long as they do not get out of control of the authorities. Otherwise, it is not a sin to shout from the very height.

"Be careful, ladrs, the vertical is reeling!.."

Uladzimir Khalip, specially for Charter97.org