19 September 2021, Sunday, 5:37
Sim Sim, Charter 97!

Lonely Regime Will Rent a Two-Bedroom Apartment With a Folding Bed

Lonely Regime Will Rent a Two-Bedroom Apartment With a Folding Bed

It has long been noticed: the worse and more helpless the authorities, the louder the fanfare.

The past week can confidently claim to be hopelessly black. Wednesday, immensely black, has individual records. And Friday, hopelessly black. The pathological passion for raids and knocking down doors has already become a regime's lifestyle. And therefore, in order not to violate the general color scheme of this special summer, people in black again come to the fore with a confident march. Dressed unseasonably - in some kind of well-worn quilted jackets with hoods on their heads and in black masks. It is quite possible that all these guards of the oppressive order also did not forget about body armor. The heat is fierce and unbearable. But how to do without Kevlar, if we are to come into direct contact with the sworn enemy? This identified enemy should see this mass in black in the openings of successfully knocked down doors and understand that resistance is pointless and useless.

July. The heat knocks you down. However, times are not chosen. And again, the order was given to go on a modest feat. And they went to smash human rights defenders and journalists. And, at the same time, do not forget all the writers and TV reporters there. Nothing to be ashamed of - at war as at war. Who is first on the list - the Viasna Human Rights Center? Forward, attack!

And somewhere very close, in some hundreds of kilometers, beyond the lake and beyond the forest, there is a completely different life. There is the Slavianski bazaar with singing and dancing. With barbecues and other allowed joys of the strict regime era. A big spree with visiting stars and various ranks of the local vertical is quite appropriate.

They don't care about all sorts of quarantine distances, protective masks, and other tricks from the time of the evil covid. The nomenclature is always true to whoever is up there, a tier higher. In the same ranks. Shoulder to shoulder. What pandemic? Tractors at the start, forget about the virus, the masks are off - the vertical meets the people. In a fit of universal passion for pop and nomadic art. What people, what faces! The only pity is that Kolya Baskov did not come. Or he got sick. and if not for this unfortunate thing, it would have been a celebration!

However, even without him, the party was a success. And an adequate replacement was found for the overly cautious showmen - over there, in the box, the most important spectator is. The one for whom this breathtaking bazaar was started. However, the general triumph of the will was spoiled by the unbearable heat. And it was pitiful that even GUBOPiK was powerless and helpless in the confrontation with the heat's cunning. And therefore, sudden miscalculations and misunderstandings begin to obsessively persecute the regime.

Either in Drazdy or in Azernaye on Friday night, there was a big commotion. From the zone of special control of the Slavianski Bazaar, according to reports of some leftover mass media, it seems that a patient was delivered, who suddenly experienced the full weight of the suffocating heat and the mercury column. That malevolent one, whose intolerable pressure was once noticed and comprehended by the famous Ostap.

However, the regime today is alive not just due to the bazaar. The next day after returning from the song-and-trade rally no less grandiose event was planned. In Hrodna, a bridge was being prepared for the ceremonial opening. And not just any ordinary crossing over a water barrier, but something unimaginable. Not just a bridge but a symbol. The regime-builder decided to liven up the abandoned highway. To connect the two banks. It is so symbolic to show and prove to everybody that the power of keen craftsmen can spread a solid and reliable aqueduct not only over the river but also over the abyss that opened up after last year's elections.

The bridge in Hrodna turned out to be gorgeous. And the celebration was appointed in accordance with the main idea. At 21.00, when the unbearable heat subsides. Nothing was to interfere with such an important event.

And then suddenly a cloud came across. It started to rain. Streams of rain appeared. Streams gushed. A cheerful summer shower in our country has long been classified as a major natural disaster. And everything went according to the usual scheme, and the miracle did not happen. The approaches to such an important object, erected by the usual inertia not only for motorists and pedestrians but, above all, for the ideological needs of the various and uncountable authorities, were washed away terribly.

It has long been noticed: the worse and more helpless the authorities, the louder the fanfare. And all their failures with such enduring bad luck get a new name, quite optimistic - the challenges of the time. And they have learned to respond to such challenges long ago. Back in the unforgettable Soviet years. Low wages, high prices, terrible roads, dangerous bridges? It's all the fault of the damned West. We have to spend every penny on defense. If not for the machinations of the sworn enemy, we would have lived so well! It is long gone and completely forgotten. And only we have more and more enemies every day.

Of course, in this case, it is simply necessary to somehow throw out the accumulated anger. At the unbearable heat. At sluggishness and laziness of subordinates. At the endless chain of failures, which steadily acquire the habits of an unstoppable shadow. And to this whole country, which is suddenly not at all what it seemed before. And on countless enemies, internal and external. And so, after the sudden breakdown of the bridge, almost ready for a celebration, the angry triumphant summoned his ambassadors and other diplomats as a matter of urgency.

Who would have thought that the day would come when the status of regime embassies in the states of Western Europe and the mythical Wagnerites, lost without a trace in the forest swamps, would be almost indistinguishable. And to play the role of small traders in local consumer goods in the host countries, not just a cozy mansion will be enough but a dusty rug spread somewhere on the outskirts of the flea market. The ambassadors were taken aback: how could it be, what about the prestige of a tough state? But it was precisely this status of regime diplomacy in hated Western Europe that inspired them by the fiery speech of the initiator of this extraordinary gathering.

The indomitable element of commanding anger continued to rampage and destroy the last remnants of common sense. “Listen, why should we keep a bunch of diplomats there, if we don’t trade with them at all, and political relations, diplomacy, are not just absent but are to the detriment of the state. If they need one diplomat and one assistant, well, leave them, rent them a two-room apartment and let them work."

And for sure - then they will work. Like with this bridge, which suddenly turned out to be completely unusable for its main function. But it could be good enough for the opening ceremony.

If it hadn't rained. The long-awaited. Summer rain. Unpredictable.

Uladzimir Khalip, specially for Charter97.org