Kick-ass as strategy of the opposition

Representatives of the progressive Belarusian community have been discussing the same theme for the second day.

To be more precise, it’s one fact that became a theme of discussions – a kick in the pants. No one talks about the reasons. That’s right. Because the theme that caused the flesh to move is so miserable and insignificant that the kick-ass looks far more important than the failed agreements. If the agreements had been signed, the kick would have been more important in any case. There are no things less important than an unsuccessful march to the “house of representatives”.

Will opposition representatives race in small groups or in a slightly large group hereinafter referred as the “coalition of six”? Will they move by bounds or run without any stops? Will they have a rest-break with a picnic? Will then turn back, as they promise, or huddle together in the parliament’s lobby without an opportunity walk farther? Say it honestly: Is anyone of you concerned about it? No one is concerned of course! A normal person understands perfectly: even having a candidate’s certificate, no one of the people thirsty for obtaining these papers will become closer to the release of political prisoners. No one will make the authorities look at themselves from the outside and rush to democratic reforms and fair elections. No one will ease sufferings of the imprisoned people.

By the way, why did they need to call a press conference if they did not have anything to talk about except for a debate inside the coalition? It’s not much pleasure for journalists to go out in frost for wasting their time and re-telling empty promises to their editors: “No news, apart from a kick-ass.”

I cannot speak for my colleagues, but personally, I’d like to stop any discussion on the matter. The problem whether someone is going to run for a seat in the “house of representatives” or not is as far from our life as the problem of shamanism in the Yamalo-Nenets Autonomous Region. The content of the paper that participants of the press conference wanted to sign, but failed, is as interesting for journalists as organic compounds in the growth of the Mucor mushroom. I’d also like to advise to make kicks an obligatory part of all events held by the coalition. Today, it is the only thing able to stir up interest to events and personalities. They can make a schedule: Kalyakin is appointed responsible for kicks and Lyabedzka is appointed a victim for tomorrow’s meeting. Or vice versa. It may a rotating schedule, with paying bonuses for extra hours and normal practice of friendly shift switches: “Lad, I need to see a dentist tomorrow, but we have a press conference… Will you get a kick for me? I’ll cover your shift next time.” Then everything will go all right: at least, everyone will be useful and will have no reasons to annoy the rest people with their thoughts about the “house of parliaments”.

Iryna Khalip