18 June 2018, Monday, 16:22

"Let Kolya Lie in" Scam

Iryna Khalip

What is the price of a new outlandish order of Lukashenka?

For the third year I've been seeing off my son to school by eight in the morning. Sometimes we come early, and at first I was surprised that at 7.30-7.40 the classroom was already full of children. At least, a half-class. In the first year at school the homeroom teacher explained that many parents work from 8 am and bring their children to school earlier.

And there are at least half of such parents in each class. Although those parents who work from 9 am should take a long way to a work place. And now let's deal with simple calculations.

There are about a million of schoolchildren (982 thousand) in Belarus. More then a third of them are elementary school students who are not able to get to school on their own. It turns out that more than three hundred thousand Belarusian families will be victims of the "Kolya Lukashenka Law" next year.

But Kolya Lukashenka himself has nothing to do with it. If the problem was precisely that the boy does not get enough sleep (at least, so his father says), then it would be decided within five minutes. The school that Kolya visits sometimes could take some changes in the schedule to satisfy the boy. And lessons could begin even at noon, at midnight, and could last twenty minutes, so that children could not be overloaded, and unscheduled holidays would be announce during the Chinese shuttle flights of his father.

But his morning sleepiness and daytime work do not bother his father at all. The point is different. The senior Lukashenka has found a ground to demonstrate again who is the boss here, and to shit-can all the people. And here it is! Get it for your non-approval of the decree on parasitism and the way you cry on squares "That'll do!". Get i for you "everyday" courage, for overcoming your fears and new faces on rallies, for your mocking laughter, after all! Swallow it, dear citizens, along with your children. You will soon remember the decree on parasitism as a pretty harmless adventure.

The Communist Ministry of Education, instantly sending out orders (probably clicking "caps lock"), immediately tried to talk way out of it: those who start working early may bring their children to school. There will be teachers as well. They will wait for a tardy bell with children. Or, the Ministry suggested, to do exercises.

It turns out that sleepy children should be at school one hour before lessons start to do exercises, that is the logic of a bald-head daddy. It means that, first, all the same they have no opportunity to sleep, second, the school day will extend by at least an hour. There can be added "three" and "four": school teachers will hate these early parents and children; the time for homework also will decrease by at least an hour. But the magazine "Young Rescuer" existing at the expense of compulsory school subscription, can triumph: it will finally have topics. For example, "how not to burn an apartment, when you go sleepy to the kitchen." Or "how to hold on and not burn the school, which has finally turned into a personal enemy."

And sports and music classes, clubs, language courses, paid clubs will add fuel to the fire. They all will have to change the schedule. That is, not three hundred thousand families, but much more, in fact, all Belarusians with children, will be dragged into a scam under the official name "Let Kolya Lie in" (de facto "to dirt on everyone"). By the way, has anyone tried to calculate losses from the new scam? That would be great.

Now all sorts of education departments headed by the Ministry dug from the archives the Ministry of Health decree of 2012 on sanitary rules and norms for schools. They remembered that it was ordered to start lessons at schools not earlier than eight in the morning, but it was still written in italics: the most suitable time to begin classes is 9 o'clock in the morning. And they got adhered to this. As always, the Ministry of Health and Education are joined at the hip. Two of the most lick spittling offices in the country. If somewhere else Lukashenka's ravings are tried to be sabotaged, then these two constantly react on every his sneeze. Let you then be honest, dear Ministries: how could you survive, if you've suffered drinking-bout for five years and failed to remember about your papers of 2012? How much ink have you drunk if you have recently sobered up and realized that you have the right paper? And if we pretend for a second that this is true, then what the hell have you been forcing children to go to lessons at a wrong time? And, finally, where were you when sending a 13-year-old Maladzechna schoolgirl who did not return to farm work?

You'd better not answer. It is better for you to pretend rubbish and shut up for centuries, so that no one could remember you.

Iryna Khalip for Charter97.org