20 June 2021, Sunday, 20:10
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Man From Bunker Hurries To Square

14
Man From Bunker Hurries To Square
ULADZIMIR KHALIP

A wonderful picture turns out.

Something incredible happened. In the night of May 8 to 9th, the column of offroaders, the invasion of which was so timely predicted and warned about by the vigilant courtyard professor, suddenly changed the course drastically. Moreover, it happened at the moment when the militants already spotted the outlines of the peacefully sleeping Drazdy settlement on the horizon. The evil winners over notorious Muammar turned the column the other way round. And raced somewhere in the direction of the Mediterranean Sea, by the field paths, throwing away the no longer needed large-calibre machine-guns into bushes as they went. There have been rumours they were spotted somewhere deep in the deserts of Libya. So what so unexpectedly decided the fate of the fight that never happened?

Well, there have been no miracles, actually. No supernatural forces participated in this conspiracy. Tank troops stayed in the places of their permanent dislocations. Brave paratroopers were peacefully snoring in the barracks. Even the omnipresent Main Directorate for Combating Organized Crime and Corruption did not come to face the evil horde with batons. There was no need. Everything was resolved immediately. With a stroke of the pen .

The one against whom almost a total hunt was declared, signed a decree. A simple but fateful document. “On the protection of sovereignty and the constitutional order”. The document is rather eclectic, somewhat perplexed, but, judging by its name, irresistible. When during another opit stop the translator read out the first lines of this epochal document from some website to his mujahideen, they were lost for words. The fighting spirit faded away on the spot. Everyone got gloomy and sad. They wanted to go home. Because the decree clearly stated: in case of a sudden death of the one whom they so thoughtlessly chased, all power is transferred to the Security Council. And who is this Council and where to find him they had no idea.

Nothing is clear with all those documents. This is even much worse than in their native desserts. There are stars shining in the sky amidst the dark, to find the way. And here - it’s all gone with the wind.

And now, fully equipped, with the decree signed in the operative rearward, he has stepped in to the properly sealed Victory Square. And frightened everyone with the horrible news. It turns out there are some forces out there, thinking of one thing - how to dress the youth in brown. And he is the only hope of the progressive humanity - he will not let anything to anyone, never. Also, from his fiery speech it became known that it was not himself he had been thinking of all these post-electoral months, but most often about how to ensure safe walks with a stroller to all moms and dads around. It was an emotional and somewhat inspiring speech. The only moment remained unclear: whether the riot police and the Main Directorate To Combat Economic Crime and Corruption share this agrarian sentimentalism. And why the underage children of Palina Sharenda, Volha Zalatar and other parents, whom the punishers of the new draft threw to jails, penal colonies, or discourteously forced out of the country, cannot have such walks.

There are questions, answering which is considered improper. Because of the perpendicular line. And the extremely restricted area for maneuvers. These villains cornered, from all sides! And here comes some youth, dimly appearing, all in brown. And who said the evil mujahideen won’t return? Maybe this motley crew on offroaders hasn’t gone anywhere, but temporarily joined the cigarettes smuggling? Even now, when the properly guarded cortege was moving to this square, it was impossible not to notice the obvious thing. All types of lawyers and philologists are still standing along the leading way with the “Fly” launchers. It looks like they are lurking in wait for somebody. So, the space for maneuvering remains scarce - close to nothing. From a bunker to a basement.

So, therefore - only a decree. Determined and uncompromising. Like that old one, about social parasites. They were outraged. They protested. But they still managed to push it through. So what will prevent you from implementing this one too? It was not for nothing that some kind of conspiracy was invented, seemingly clownish and quite stupid. But the Allies eagerly picked up the general idea. And the local Pinkertons with their Lubyanka colleagues played the most vulgar pantomime of the fierce seizure of the conspirators. And even the Kremlin’s beholder not only did not disown this farce, but sighed in contrition in front of the TV camera: whom did they dare to encroach on! ..

The idea was stupid, but given the new decree, it was very promising. The problem of integration, which had almost died out, was reaching a new level. Meetings and long gatherings behind closed doors continue stubbornly. What they are discussing there remains a mystery. What problem can be so persistently discussed with the illegitimate and, as they say now, toxic guy? Yes, all the same - the problem of surrender under the guise of integration.

The idea with the advancement of the Russian troops to the borders of Ukraine did not work out. So what, eat the dust and wait for the reproaches of the imperial patriots? And here at his side sits an ally intimidated by continuous failures. And tearfully asks for help. How to refrain from playing along with his famous phobias? And why not take revenge for the failure in the Ukrainian direction, if the broke partner is quite ready. No money. But with a reliable shelter from intrusive enemies, they are always ready to help. There are such places in Russia - not a single philologist can get through! There, with a fishing rod and a butterfly net, you can live quietly to a ripe old age.

Therefore, a wonderful picture turns out. Without any green men there. A grandiose joint exercise Zapad-2021 is planned for September. On quite legitimate grounds, Russian troops are entering the country, but they are in no hurry to return to their winter quarters. And where there are troops, there is gradually a common currency, and laws, and the very supranational bodies that the Kremlin allies dreamed of so much, presenting a well-known ultimatum to everyone in December 2019. It was not for nothing that they so diligently shook this fantastic decree out of their partner.

And isn't this the way of “getting out of the crisis” that both sides are so stubbornly reiterating about nowadays? It is quite possible that they have already decided everything for everyone. What else, if both sides find a compromise? Only here's the nuance, they forgot in the turmoil that there is also a third party. And even in the current constitution it is written: “The only source of state power and the bearer of sovereignty in the Republic of Belarus is the people”.

Haven’t the people said their word yet? Or maybe, they said it a long time ago, but someone failed to hear? Back then, in hot August. And they repeated it several times - the whole world could hear it. So much the worse for those who pretended to be deaf. People always speak clearly and distinctly. That is why the white-red-white flag has been flying over the country for a long time.

And every day - higher and higher.

Uladzimir Khalip, specially for Charter97.org