One Step To Lukashenka’s Catastrophe

It’s time to recognize the obvious.

Protests in Belarus have been going on for three months. It was yet another jubilee on Monday. During this time, the authorities have come up with various promises, statements, and deeds. There was just one result though - either constipation or diarrhea. It’s only one step to the catastrophe.

For three months in a row, the authorities either want things done but cannot get them done, or do not want anything but cannot do anything about it. They can’t help it - it’s either constipation or diarrhea. In medicine, they call it irritable bowel syndrome. In Belarus - the irritable people syndrome. In both cases, the symptoms and the treatment are the same - it is necessary to remove, neutralize the factors that irritate the bowel (or, in our case, the people). All the irritating factors are well-known. It may seem - remove them, and the whole body will get back to normal.

One of the main reason is overeating. Lukashenka has said it himself many times, that he had had enough of this presidency, of this power. Well, what’s the problem then? Stop it, give your bowel some rest, enough irritating the people. But no, he keeps on eating, more and more, and only promises to lower his appetite. What do we see in the end? All the same things: either constipation, or diarrhea.

The authorities either grab and beat people, thus shitting all over themselves in the eyes of the entire world, or try to push out an idea with the whole might of a cramped bowel, but come up with nothing better than another squeezebulb to the people, after which the authorities shit themselves over again. This has been going on for three months. Nothing changes. Absolutely.

For how much longer a conditional body can endure this? It’s rather a rhetorical question. The economy and the people are on the verge of total exhaustion. This is obvious to everyone, even to the authorities. It may seem, it’s time to be guided by common sense and stop these twisted experiments on own body. But the authorities are agitated again. They think that, one more squeezebulb to the people, one more shitting session, and the people will stop marching around, and everything will end. And then the authorities will try to wash themselves from the shit.

The authorities have tried so many squeezebulbs fort these three months, poured so many “popularly elected” potions into the bowel, shit themselves so many times, that they cannot invent anything new. They had to repeat the old stuff. For example, the events of August 9-12 clearly showed that mass detentions never bring anything good. No bowel is capable of digesting this. But no, this Sunday the authorities decided to pig out again, and then shit themselves before the whole world. Why, and who needs this? What will this bring to the country apart from another irritation of the people, and deeper discontent of everyone around?

Doctors claim that the irritable bowel syndrome may develop because of stress. At least 94% of patients with this syndrome have anxiety disorders, as well as neurotic depression. Maybe that's the point? There is one and only all-people psychosis, with one and only impersonification. The whole bowel, the entire people are anxious about it one way or another. This is where the neurotic anxiety comes from. Some got it long ago, but some still cannot understand this, hoping for the squeezebulbs. Maybe it’s time to recognize the obvious? As this self-treatment may soon lead to intestinal torsion. And then there will be just one way…

Siarhei Satsuk, Ejednevnik