A Psychologist Explained How To Find Value Even In Difficult Situations

This will help both at home and at work.

Conflicts don’t necessarily ruin relationships; with the right approach, they can help you better understand your loved ones, figure out your own needs, and find a way out of long-standing problems. Instead of trying to get your way at any cost, it’s worth trying to figure out exactly what’s bothering the other person. Licensed psychotherapist and author of Gina Simmons Schneider writes about this in an article for Psychology Today (translation by Charter97.org).

According to the expert, arguments help us see a situation more clearly through another person’s eyes and define our own boundaries, values, and needs. This is especially important in close relationships, where pent-up resentment and unspoken issues can hinder mutual understanding.

Conflict mediator Phyllis Olins notes that disagreements can pull a person out of their usual way of thinking and push them toward change.

Schneider highlights several rules that help resolve conflicts constructively, including at work:

— Identify the root cause of the dispute; don’t limit yourself to its outward manifestations.

— Don’t put off the conversation—address the problem promptly.

— Speak calmly and clearly, without letting your emotions get the better of you.

— View the conflict as a negotiation, not a competition in which there must be a winner.

— Reduce emotional tension before seeking a solution.

— Respect the other person, even if you disagree with their position.

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