20 July 2019, Saturday, 9:15
We are in the same boat

Working Horsey In Parasites' Land

Iryna Khalip

Stop lying that the state allegedly pays for something.

Every time Aliaksnadr Lukashenka starts contemplating on social parasites, I realize that he must be living in some other country, not in Belarus, in the actual fact. This country is surely beautiful. Every morning there starts from Lukashenka and his full administration, accompanied by officials of all levels, dragging themselves, panda-eyed and sleepy, at six in the morning to some mine to get coal for the country, to the red-hot workshops of the plants, to the building sites of the native cities. I imagine Kachanava and Shchotkina throwing bricks to each other, like in some chronicle of the post-war Minsk, and their rigorous taskmaster Nadzia Katkavets, having boldly arranged her headkerchief, orders: "Chaotically, throw 'em chaotically, I'm tellin ya!" In the evening they all return to their hostels and drop dead after the 14-hour shift.

At this very moment, half a million social parasites wake up by midday in their mansions, put on their silky gowns and sip coffee with a croissant over the morning newspaper. Undefeated laziness comes over them. After a coffee, a cigar, a Jacuzzi and a solitaire game they start thinking what to occupy themselves with. Maybe, to go to polyclinics for a health survey? Or enter some university, obtain the second or the third higher education? Or just waste away the free electricity, arranging full illumination? They have to occupy themselves with at least anything, while the state officials tirelessly swallow coal from dawn to dawn, polish details and build houses so that they, the parasites, have everything free of charge.

As the main taskmaster of the officials, called just "Ryhorych" by all these workhorses just like it should be in a working collective, said the other day, they are "hovering about, and for our expense they got education, enjoy medical care, use communal and utility services, their children go to kindergartens, schools, and we pay for them." In the faraway country, of which the taskmaster is speaking, it is so. However, this country exists only in his imagination - with crowds of social parasites, doing nothing but studying or enjoying medical care. Ah, and drinking water free of charge, those morons.

Sometimes, when Lukashenka comes to senses and finds himself not in the greasy working robe but in a Brioni suit, he recalls for a second that there is such a country - Belarus. However, this doesn't last long. And never reaches the final point. The crowds of social parasites in silky gowns come here with him from that ideal country of his dreams. In these rare moments he thinks: no, we've got to make them pay under honest rating! Let them pay for education, for medical care, and for communal and utility services in full scope.

And then he suddenly realizes that a person who owes nothing at all to the state, cannot be turned into slavery. Those who pay order the music. So it is needed to keep Belarusians on the short leash of free medicine and education to preserve an opportunity to humiliate them. They should in no way feel they are people. And then he orders the officials who just got out of the red-hot workshops of the ideal country together with him: no private business, no money, make everyone dependent on free things, let them stay slaves.

Go out of your way, adopt such a lot of decrees and laws that the country had no private hospitals, or private maternity homes. A couple of schools can be left – we are to place our children and grandchildren somewhere. But no more than four schools for two millionth Minsk, and they are to be located farther from the center. And demand a medical certificate on each occasion. Not a step without a medical certificate! And let that buster go to the polyclinic to get it. Let they tell him there: you, bastard, have not been here for a long time, so queue up and go through medical examination. Have you been admitted to the state-funded place, talented cattle?

Let him get his postgraduate work assignment and return it to the last penny! Has he matriculated to a paid one to escape from the state trusteeship? He will still come to the state polyclinic for the medical certificate, and there he will be reminded of who he really is. And after a few dozen years he will turn up at the Social Welfare Department – there we’ll have fun!

So it's enough to lie, that the state pays for something. It just keeps the man in the vile matrix of allegedly free education and medicine, sprinkled with relentless state care, so that the Belarusian wouldn’t feel free. The district polyclinic is better than the prison, it will remind the citizen that he is nobody in this country. And the government does everything to ensure that this system continues to work. The state doesn’t have other opportunities for regularly dipping Belarusians in shit. In all the other respects, they have not been dependent on it for a long time.

And then again the twilight is gathering, the night and the bull’s hour are coming, and the foreman is leaving in the night mist, for the night shift. He knows that he has to give these scoundrels-parasites a sweet life, because his conscience wouldn’t let it otherwise. Makei in the overalls and Kachanava in a blue working robe are looming in the fog. It's good to have someone to rely on.

Iryna Khalip for Сharter97.org